Being single is just as awesome as being in a relationship – if you are doing it right! That being said, if you do want to switch things up and be in a relationship and have struggled with this for 3 or more years, here are the top 10 reasons why this may be why. Enjoy!

You’re not willing to give others your time and energy

  1. Relationships involve putting in effort, sometimes even when it is not convenient for you.  You may spend hours every day on Tinder, POF or Grindr, and/or you go to the bars on weekends searching for that special somebody.  But when it comes to making a date- if you can’t even push your gym time back half an hour to fit them in, it is a clear sign that you don’t realize what relationships are all about, and what keeps them together.  There are countless upon countless of super sexy, successful men and women out there.  Month after month goes by, then year after year goes by and they still wonder. “Why am I still single when I have so much awesomeness going on”?  If this sounds like you, consider this point carefully. If you live in a large city and can’t seem to find a date on Friday night can you really blame the millions of other people out there? Of course not.  The only common denominator in all of your relationships (or lack thereof) is you.  There are plenty of great catches out there, perhaps you just haven’t taken the quality time with them because you have been slightly self-absorbed.  That’s okay, the minute you start to give others a real chance, open up, and be willing to give them your time and energy—the world of love might just open its doors to you.

You keep doing the same daily routine and expecting different results

      2. This sounds like common sense. But is it really? If you go to the same places, on the same days, and go online on the same sites at the same times every day, you are literally looking at the same pool of fish, day in and day out.  It’s time to mix it up. Go out on the other end of town this weekend.  Connect with a different group of friends. You have absolutely nothing to lose here.  Go a step farther and look at your life and see what ways you could do to possibly see an increase of new faces and meet new people. It’s simple math here; increase the odds of love in your favor.

You don’t have any interest in your own life. No hobbies, no interests. So why would they have an interest in you, if you don’t?

     3. If you spend more time creeping others’ lives on the internet other than on working and living in your own life, it is a clear sign that you have lost interest in your own life.  If you are not creating your own path and bringing others into it, others are bringing you into theirs. Keep a nice balance.  What would being interested in your own life look like? Well for one thing you wouldn’t be on your phone all the time.  You would be paying attention to what is happening in the here and now.  This one I am working on these days and it is not easy!

You don’t love yourself and the world is following suit

     4. When we love ourselves, we give off a special aura of confidence people enjoy being around. Do you REALLY love yourself and think you are amazing?  If you don’t, try showing yourself some true love.  Eat healthy, exercise, and don’t forget to feed your soul (meditate, walks in nature) and your mind (learning new skills, books). You give and you get. Not the other way around.  Take care of yourself and watch how others start to pay a little more attention to you. If you don’t know where to start, that’s okay, reach out to a recommended professional.

You are in a stagnant relationship that you are too afraid to let go of

5. Playing it safe is great for a lot of people. If this is you nothing I write will change that.  I can tell you though that you will never ever find that game changing partner if you are clinging on to a past that isn’t serving you anymore.

You have become bitter and jaded, cynical

    6. Nobody likes to be around a Debbie Downer. Your friends will put up with you and your family will encourage you to pick up your feet in life. But the bottom line is, people that have a positive outlook and fun attitude attract others while negativity pushes others away.  Get over yourself. You were never really hurt in the past, your ego was.  Let it go and get back out there and try to enjoy this short time you have here.  You’re only going to be this age once in your life so it’s a good idea to be making the most of it.

You have lost faith

7. Yes you have had some bad break ups and have run into some serious assholes. I’m sorry for that, nobody deserves that, really.  But if you have given up on finding a partner in this life that is a sure fire way to get exactly that, nothing.  To gain big you have to be willing to keep loving the world, without expectations, even when things don’t go as planned.

Your belief systems hold you in place and reinforce your doubts

     8. We often have experiences in life and because of such, treat them as the ultimate “truth” of the world.  The problem with this is that once we have a specific set of programming in our brain, we unconsciously do everything we can to see and validate these “truths.” If we go out with a few girls/guys that are extremely superficial and come to the conclusion that “all men or woman are superficial”, we set ourselves up for failure and to repeat the same process. Why? Because our brains are always working and we want to be “right” about how we feel. So we seek out the energy of yet another superficial person because it already fits into a story we “know” and are familiar with, while ignoring the down to earth guys or girls and unchartered territory that comes along with it.  The result: you once again become validated in your thoughts that you are “right” in your belief and opinion about this, and meet yet another superficial person that you are frustrated with.  The problem with this cycle is IT DOESN’T serve you and it’s definitely not the same experience all of us are having.  There are plenty of down to earth awesome guys/gals out there; having THIS belief in my brain empowers me, helps me feel good, and puts me in a position of strength to have the correlating experiences that come along with it. You have to be willing to see outside of your own limiting experiences and look at the glass half full if you want different results.

Bad hygiene

    9. Bad breathe and bad body odor are deal breakers for a lot of people.  Some guys take this “natural smell” thing a little far. If it’s sour smelling, for the love of God take a shower.  When it comes to bad breathe, if you aren’t brushing 3 times daily and flossing then you run the risk of others backing away when you are talking to them….and you can forget any type of kissing.  The same runs true with colognes and perfumes.  Keep those to a minimum.  How do you know if you stink or not? Ask a really great friend to give you some honest truth.

You just haven’t met them yet

    10. Relax. Single life is awesome. If YOUR single life is awesome, then it’s likely you don’t really care when your next big loving relationship will come along.  It’s also very likely that others will want to be a part of your awesome life.  Breakups happen all the time and we are all in the process of life.  Enjoy the ride and don’t get stuck in singledom or in a stagnant relationship.  Once you have mastered the art of love people will come into your life with ease, and you can flow from being single to being in a relationship (and vice versa) with ease, grace and joy!

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